I meant to repost about Incarna and my thoughts sooner, but the Alliance Tourney was on as well as our corp’s Frigate Free-for All.

We held our June frigate mêlée this past weekend. I came in third and won some nice ISK and a sweet Nemesis. I can fly the Nemesis, too, which makes the awards that much sweeter. So far in these little T-1 brawls, I have come in last, 1st, 4th, and now 3rd. Not too shabby! I flew a MWD/dampening Maulus with a small shield extender, 2x150mm autocannon, and 2 Hobgoby Is. Strictly a kite setup with drones to do the dirty work and the damp to keep the missile boats at bay. I really used the damp, though, to annoy my Chief of Operations. Fun!

Afterwards the crew stayed in Teamspeak as we watched the Alliance Tournament IX finals.

One word: Boring.

The Alliance tourney is really meant to entertain us poor folk. However, instead of giving us a true-to-life-who-knows-what-will-happen-next-OMWTFBBQ-is-that type excitement, we got was was on par with a bad reality TV show. The whole tourney was full of “Hey, Outbreak and Hydra Reloaded hid in the dark caves of SISI wormhole space being best buds and yanking each other off.” They engineered this and that and the other thing so they could be in opposite brackets…blah…blah…blah. Of course they’d meet in the end. And of course they did something gayer than the Conga line in the Circle-of-Two v Wild Boars match-up (which was only funny for the 1st minute…then tedious).

Like any fail reality show, you can tell the whole thing was scripted. And done very, very poorly.

I don’t want to accuse CCP of orchestrating something, but really you can only write shit like this up, and only when you’re drunk on piss-warm beer. Really?

The Alliance commentators and such didn’t even really focus on what Outbreak and HL were doing during the match. They focused more on what color t-shirt you can buy for your clone instead of spending plex on something like, oh, internet spaceships in a game of….internet spaceships.  And the feedback I am getting from the majority of the EVE community is “Well, that’s EVE for ya”.

What, being more fake than Pro Wrestling is EVE? EVE would be shooting. EVE would be strategy. EVE would be spying. EVE would be payoffs. EVE would be bribes. EVE would be betrayal.

The only people that were betrayed in that tourney was us: the poor viewer who will never get a chance to be on such a stage. I’ll probably never fly a Machariel. I will only see Vindicators if they’re stupid enough to stumble in a gate camp. And I hope I’ll never be on the receiving end of a Bhaalgorn. I have to fight the big fights in the shiny ships vicariously…through the tourney participants.

I don’t want thrown fights just because they’re best buds or that the Alliance leader is the brother of another Alliance’s director’s cousin’s niece’s dog’s groomer’s postman’s proctologist’s incestual sister. Especially not in the finals. It was a big “FUCK YOU” from CCP, HL and Outbreak. Well, fuck them, too.

So, I doubt I’ll be watching Tourney X, if I am in game at all. No, not planning a rage-quit. I am just being honest. If Star Wars The Old Republic is gonna be as awesome as it is supposed to be, people will leave EVE in droves. And I may be one of them.

And that’s why Incarna exists. CCP made the decision long ago (I mean, you can’t develop major content overnight….although it does SEEM that way as buggy as some shit is) to have the pilots walk around. We can’t manually pilot spaceships like Microsoft Flight Sim, so something had to be added to give it an option of some FPS functionality and feel. SWTOR  will have that. And CCP wants to keep those players.

Will it add players? No, not really, IMHO. Like Brussel sprouts, EVE has a reputation. Same with WoW and the other MMOs. Friends and co-workers drive who plays what, by water cooler conversations of “OMFG you have GOT to play Angry Birds” types which helps drive interest. Do you think those EVE spams all over the web really drag people in?

I have visited Incarna already on SISI, but to be fair, I will hold performance judgment until the release is out. It just sucked on SISI. Even my twin 8800 Ultras in SLI (yeah, I know, old system, but each one has 768 MB of DDR3 memory and a theoretical shader processing rate of something like 576 Gigaflops) were slowed, which is quite a feat for an avatar that just walks around stupidly in basically a single room.

You’ll get to see soon what Captain’s Quarters is: A gimmick. It was interesting for something like 1 minute. I logged each character in. I marvelled at how good my female chars looked and how awkward my male ones were (with the exception of Hardee, who is supposed to be a bit goofy) . I walked around…stupidly. You can’t go 1st person view, which is dumb. You have to look at your character’s backside to get him anywhere. Dumb.

I cannot imagine “fighting” person to person using the same controls we have to out in space. It’s like trying to do anything in Minecraft in 3rd person. It is just too counter-intuitive and, well, just plain awkward.

The turrets are ok in space. The sounds are, well, different. The blasters are full of fail: they don’t even look like a gun anymore. And they sound like a *whoosh*, and not a *clank*. I want my metal hammer on pigiron sound. I don’t want a whoosh. Shit, mining lasers sound better.

Then again, that seems to be part of CCP’s modus operandi: Dick with what is working perfectly fine, and ignore what’s truly broken. Oh, and add a whole bunch of new features with new problems you’ll happily ignore while making a new disaster in the PS3 world…..

Ok, I’m ranting again.

CCP has been bitch-slapped by the players a couple of times recently. They even admitted it almost as bluntly during the interview sessions in the AT IX webcasts. So, CCP does listen sometimes, especially on embarrassing fuckups. Oh, do we even have a CSM?

So, we’ll see. I am 14 days away from Gallente Cruiser 5, thus I am set for the long term training queue. Kino is training something-or-other. I think he’s working on Oneiros support skills, but I don’t remember exactly what. After this, it’s Battleships so he can go mission and make some dough. Hardee is in semi-retirement for the time being.

Fly like there’s no…oh, wait, Incarna’s here………